So I attended the holiday barbeque An was hosting at his fiancee's place.  Apparently, the two of them realised that they have been together two and a half years and their sets of friends had yet to meet each other.  I was the only one of An's friends who showed, so their plan wasn't a total failure.  We talked, played Uno Attack!, ate burgers and hotdogs with all the fixin's, and stayed up way too late.  Luckily, Tina's place is only three miles away. 

 

So I was thinking about how they seem a well meshed couple, and thought of other well meshed, not-so-well meshed, poorly meshed, and antagonistic couples I know and have known.  For some reason, I just can't even imagine being lucky enough to be part of a well meshed couple.  This despite the fact that I would certainly enjoy the ability to share joys and burdens with another human being.  This despite the fact that at times I would love nothing more than to be physically close to someone (a body to lean on, a hand to hold, or even just a familiar nearby presence with whom I would share a connection).  I mean, I don't even feel called to go looking for potential mates. 

 

This makes me wonder, what is our Lord's plan for me then?  I don't feel called to marriage or the priesthood.  Am I just ignoring His call, is it just not yet my time, or is there something else planned for me?  I've had friends concerned that I'm diluting the gene pool by not breeding.  I've had friends unconcerned because they think I'll be a late bloomer like many others they know (or are!) who didn't find their vocation until their thirties.  I'm not against being married, so I wonder why I've always felt that I would never be. 

 

I guess that has left me somewhat envious of those friends and family who have found that clarity of purpose to know that they "shouldn't let this one get away" or that they felt called to "make a bride of the church".  Even slight envy can be dangerous, so its back to praying for the grace to avoid its lure. 

 

Wow, I'm falling asleep here at the computer.  I guess I had better get going.  More thoughts next time.  When I'm not falling asleep. 

 

You're Most Like The Season Winter ... You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.  But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant. You have an air of power around you - and that can sometimes scare people off.  You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you rarely let people in if you can help it. You can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be negative, and hard to relate to, but you give off a relaxed image despite being insecure - and secretly many people long to be like you, not knowing how deep the Winter season really is. Well done... You're the most inspirational of seasons

?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla