Firk-Ding-Blast!

That pretty much sums up my life about now. I went to plug in my bicycle lights this evening and only the taillight came on. This is especially annoying in that I just bought it last month to replace my old system. The nickle metal-hydride battery of the old system had died, and it is no longer produced. This left me highly frustrated. I like to be in control, and when I am not I become aggitated. Eventually I realized I should be praying for God's support, but I found myself strangely resistant. After a while I realised that this was because in some way I was enjoying the feeling of being frustrated. It was a minor form of control over the situation, controling my emotions about the situation. Once that sunk in, I was able to open myself up to prayer. I havn't fully given the situation over to God as I know I should, but at least I'm praying that he guide my emotions in this matter. It's a start.

Then I get home and check the mail. Big mistake. The bank informs me that it bounced my rent check! Damn it! My checkbook said I had the money. Who knows what my credit will look like now. I'm going to have to try to settle this either before work or during my break/lunch time. I do not look forward to this at all.

I'm just so angry. I mean, it's easy to say, "let go, let God," but it's much harder to do it. Control has always been the issue which has most harmed my relationship with God. All I can do is continue to pray for a change.