Friday 11 April 2003

• I was thinking tonight about life, and I realized something.  I was raised to never take a guilt trip, no matter who or why.  Yet, somewhere along the way I re-learned how to take one.  I mean, guilt-trips are what keep me involved in local conventions.  And I've decided that I will have no more of that.  Oh, I'll stay by my commitments through 2005.  But I don't think I'll commit to anything else.  Especially not in 2004, the monster year.  I just know that they team is going to stress with the conventions so closely packed together next year. 

  
  

  Working conventions was never my dream.  As stated in the past, Kitty and Billy were lamenting about the state of local conventions.  They talked of running their own, and I pulled out a white board and stated writing down their ideas.  As usual, I was trying to help others realise their dreams.  And they have.  But for some reason I let Kitty guilt trip me into joining them along the way.  She always uses the fact that I helped give the start to their little enterprise as a way to guilt me into helping it along.  I need to find my inner, "No," again. 

  
  

  That then got me to thinking about my lack of a dream.  I always like helping others achieve their dreams, but I've never really had a dream of my own.  Nothing I really wanted to achieve.  So I've decided it is time for me to discern whether or not I need one.  Then, if I decide I do, I guess I'll have to figure out what that will be, how to go about achieving it, et cetera. But first things first.  I may end up realizing that I don't need one.  I don't know.  As Treebeard said, "Let's not be too hasty."

  
  

  And on that note I should say good night.

  
  

  "It’s always worthwhile to make others aware of their worth." ~ Malcolm Forbes

  • 02:17
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