Paul,

    The devil speaking:  how comforting to imagine that God has a plan for each and every one of us, and that he doesn't give us more than we can handle.  Nah, it's a clockwork universe--set in motion long ago, and left to run on its own.  Now, while the existence of a clock implies a clockmaker, that doesn't mean He is watching it every second.  He may step in and wind the mechanism, or give it a good paintjob, or sell it in the clockstore to someone else, but spend all his time on it, he doesn't.

     In the old days, the Con Chairman did it all.  I didn't have a Programming Chair for LepreCon 9.  I guess it can't be avoided now--the system has evolved to ever greater complexity, and more volunteers are needed.  Too bad that the volunteers are being volunteered by each other, instead of truly stepping forward because they want to do the job.

     Which gives me an idea that I'd like you to share with Kitty and all the essential staff that make our conventions happen.  You'll have to do it (sorry, I'm volunteering you, but you CAN turn this calling down) because I'm not in that group any more, and never will be again.  Of course, if you do turn it down, you'll just get stuck with more and more convention responsibilities in the future.  A good man is hard to find.    There should be a few sessions at each convention for the recruitment of new volunteers, and the training of them.  Someone should give a few speeches during the biggest functions, or indeed at all well-attended events telling con-goers how to volunteer to help with the next one.

      I personally think that you could do a wonderful job as Programming Chair, and that you do have friends who will help you if you simply ask them in the right fashion.  But, you don't HAVE to do it.  I've been volunteered a few times in my life.  Sometimes I said ok.  Sometimes I said no, I'm not going to do it.  Although turning it down throws the pressure back on the friend who volunteered you, that's ok.  Even somene as wonderful and deserving as Kitty doesn't have the right to make such decisions for you.

     Let's follow through the consequences of possible decisons:  (1) You decide being Programming Chair could be a lot of fun.  Your brain and heart are engaged, and because of your enthusiasm, you attract a lot of wonderful participants, and Coppercon is a big success.  (2) you do the job out of a sense of duty--you get the same old participants as years previous--the con goes ok--no change.  (3) you hate the job--you slack off--not much exciting happens--the con flops.  (4) you turn the job down--they have to look for another candidate, and if they find one, that person has the same 3 options I mentioned above.  (5) you turn the job down, they can't find another candidate--the responsibility falls back on the overall Con Chairman.  She either does the job herself, or decides the Con doesn't need a lot of programming.  She then offers function space to the traditional groups that want it, i.e. gamers, and anime phreaks, and masqueraders, etc.  Each takes care of their own projects.  We don't have a lot of boring panels that are sparsely attended.  The con saves a lot of money because it doesn't have to give away free memberships to every semi-pro within a thousand miles.  It goes free-form.  Most people do what they do anyway--wander around dealers' room, party, get together with their friends.  Everyone still has a lot of fun.  The con saves money.  The number of volunteers is reduced.  (6) Worst case: the Con Chair can't get help to do her programming, can't or won't do it herself, feels too pressured by it all, and pulls out of her job as Con Chair.  The convention collapses for lack of anybody to actually run the dang thing.  About 100 people say something like, "aw, that's too bad.  No Coppercon."  They go on with their lives.  Nobody really misses it.  All good things come to an end sooner or later.

     Looking at the consequences, it is plain that it is your moral duty to refuse the job as Programming Chair if you don't really want to do it.  One act of rebellion on your part could actually free a lot of people.

     Seems to me that I envisioned two really good outcomes up above: number one and number five. You have the power to cause any of the six, although you don't have all the power.  I believe in free will and alternate universes.  All possibilities happen--if not in this universe, then in the one next door.  You decide now which universe this particular version of you will inhabit up the line.

     As for your money pit of a house, can't do too much about that.  A person needs to live somewhere.  It's going to cost you money wherever it is.  At the least, your home is a place that is friendly to you.  You can be friendly to it, and what else would be a better use for the money.  Cheer up!  It's no mansion, but you have a really cool home.  Hang in there!

--Ken the Devil