It's raining again.  These days it always seems like its raining.  Luckily, we need it here in this drought ridden desert. 

Frdangerous has asked me a question I have heard more than enough times, and to which my first response was to put up a wall of defenses.  Yet I promised myself in my first entry that I would be brutally honest, regardless of whose feelings I might hurt.  Those ground rules have to apply to me as well. 

They say God doesn't set before you more than you can bear.  Let's see.  Right now He's calling me to active discernment, increased local convention responsibilities, and further financial woes due to a money pit of a house. 

Yet, I don't feel as stressed as I did earlier this week.  People who did not "volunteer" me but who instead would have supported me either way have conveyed faith in my capabilities as a program chair.  I have had offers of help from various people I know.  And the rain continues to fall and give me hope.

I think I shall put the discernment process on the long term goals list. I don't feel comfortable with the idea still.  I have plenty of things I can use to distract me from such thoughts--such as programming a convention in only six months time.  I have plenty of walls to build and hide behind, and I think I shall.  Yet, for the first time I realise that I will have to come back and face this oft-repeated question head on or it will surely haunt me for the rest of my days.