It’s raining again.  These days it always seems like its raining.  Luckily, we need it here in this drought ridden desert. 

Frdangerous has asked me a question I have heard more than enough times, and to which my first response was to put up a wall of defenses.  Yet I promised myself in my first entry that I would be brutally honest, regardless of whose feelings I might hurt.  Those ground rules have to apply to me as well. 

They say God doesn’t set before you more than you can bear.  Let’s see.  Right now He’s calling me to active discernment, increased local convention responsibilities, and further financial woes due to a money pit of a house. 

Yet, I don’t feel as stressed as I did earlier this week.  People who did not “volunteer” me but who instead would have supported me either way have conveyed faith in my capabilities as a program chair.  I have had offers of help from various people I know.  And the rain continues to fall and give me hope.

I think I shall put the discernment process on the long term goals list. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea still.  I have plenty of things I can use to distract me from such thoughts–such as programming a convention in only six months time.  I have plenty of walls to build and hide behind, and I think I shall.  Yet, for the first time I realise that I will have to come back and face this oft-repeated question head on or it will surely haunt me for the rest of my days. 

And you’d think the rain could cheer me up….

So my grandmother sends me her usual spam chain letters with inspirational messages, only this time she sends the same one which is 204k four bloody times!  I’ve told her before I don’t participate in chain letters.  It was a cute parable about the crosses we bare in life.  It had sweet animated graphics.  But it was four copies of the same thing!  Enough really is enough.  *sigh*  At least she means well.  I can’t say that about the rest of humanity.  And in the end she imparted this very important E-mail lesson:  FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

Then there’s this uncredited article my mother sent me:
TODAY’S TRIVIA TIDBIT: According to a 1997 poll, the average person in the U.S. has felt compelled to see the movie Star Wars an astonishing 6.7 times since its 1977 release, either in theaters or on TV.
and this link that my step-father sent me.  It all makes me wonder if its worthwhile having E-mail at all.

Of course, the real reason I’m so annoyed is that I’m stressed.  And its easier for me to take that stress out on others.  So that’s why I’m complaining here rather than directly at them.  It’s not them.  It’s me.  I’d rather vent my frustrations here in the safety of the printed word rather than cause hurt feelings in the real world. 

God grant me the strength to muddle through.

I always feel like everyone wants a piece of me.  Do I ever get anything in return?  Oh sometimes I get the satisfaction of knowing that I’ve helped others.  But when people take advantage of my giving nature, that stresses me.  Add to that the incredible money pit my house is becoming and I just want a vacation from it all.  Unfortunately there’s someone throwing it all in my face again every friggin’ day. 

God grant me serenity.

So I gave up and finally watched a Hulk trailer on CountingDown.com.  It looks like it might me good.  We’ll have to see how they portray Brian Banner.  It could be good.  I hope its good.  I wish I could have seen at least one of the trailers on the big screen.  Everyone else who saw Spider-Man and Daredevil did.  Is it some big cosmic conspiracy?

I forgot all about our store meeting tonight.  I got to work and saw it listed on the calendar.  Oops!  Luckily, our president gave me a lift home afterwards.  We covered a lot of important issues which have built up since our last store meeting in October.  I won’t bore you with the details here.

Tomorrow, Wayne wants to have dinner at YC’s Mongollian Wok at Metrocentre.  I don’t really look forward to riding around Metro at night in the rain.  But its probably best that I don’t let myself get caught in the trap of isolation and depression.

Ugh.  They’ve officially voted me to be the Program Chair for CopperCon XXIII.  And I still don’t want the job.  Lucky me.  

Luckily, I still have my God and my cats who love me.  In the meantime, here’s a double punch of fey quizes.  Dragons and fey have always been my favourite fantasy species.  You might notice a theme in my fey personalities.  Funny how that theme is right now causing me so much stress in the real world.  But like stacinator says, “Amazing how a little perspective helps one gain clarity!!”  It’s time for me to go get some perspective.

Congratulations, you’re a Chi Spirit, a household helper.
What kind of female faerie are you?
Take the female faerie quiz by Paradox.

Congratulations, you’re a Brownie, a household helper.
What kind of male faerie are you?
Take the male faerie quiz by Paradox.

Only the Arizona Legislature would be so stupid as this:  Renaming Secretary Of State Job

Anyway, Eric called this afternoon because he wanted to drop off both the E-Space Trilogy he and his brother borrowed and RenFest stuff I left in his truck last Monday.  We ended up hitting Home Depot to price stuff for the darkroom he’s building out of their spare bathroom.  Then we went to Golden Wok where he treated.  Afterwards we just chatted the night away until he was late going home. 

All-in-all it was a good day.  This despite my current cash-poor personal economy, and the stress of being “volunteered” to be Program Chair for CopperCon XXIII.  Hopefully the work week will be a good one.

This morning I went to the office to pay my space rent and have a donut.  While there I found out that the crew that put the new No Parking sign in my lot was supposed to replace my border rocks.  They moved them out to plant the sign, but never moved them back.  They thought it’d be OK if I moved them back rather than wait for the crew to get around to it.

It seems like PFF had fun at Disneyland this weekend.  I wish I could have gone.  But I find that funds aren’t the same without roommates.  I was going to pay my Trollhalla membership out of this paycheck–just like I was going to out of each previous check–but all the cleaning supplies I bought yesterday took away my discretionary income for these two weeks.  The last paycheck went to the RenFest.  I don’t even remember where the previous one went to.  Next paycheck, I swear.  Then, maybe I’ll be able to afford the next PFF road trip, too. 

So my mother and I tried the new Oreo Cookie Barz Peanut Butter Cream style, and I find that they’re really good.  So I go to the Nabisco World web site only to discover that they don’t even have anything about it!  Talk about marketing mistakes!

One thing I forgot to mention about Saturday was character naming.  While my Obsidiman Purifier still doesn’t have a name, I did help Lori name her Orc Beastmaster.  She was having a hard time naming her character, so I told her to name it Stubby McNubbins.  The gamemaster glared at me and said, “No! ‘Mc’ doesn’t come from the Caspian Sea region where Barsaive is set.”  Luckily, Kitty came to our rescue and told Lori to instead use Stubby Nubbinivitch.  Everyone agreed that it was a great orc name, much to Trav’s dismay.   

And just in case you thought that weather and war were the only newsworthy items these days:  Extra Dimensions Showing Hints Of Scientific Revolution.  I expect that this will all go down in our lifetimes. 

And here’s an interesting contrast in quiz results:

Congratulations, you’re Las Vegas, Sin City.
What US city are you? Take the quiz by Girlwithagun.
Which horribly butchered LOTR character are you?

Xanga: Texie’s Weblog for 20/2/2003 was suggested to me, and I have to admit it was rather funny.  Chi-chi-chi-chia! 

Anyway, this weekend wasn’t as busy as last.  Friday night Jackson’s ran his D&D campaign again.  As we retreated from the silver dragon and death tyrant, part of our group ran into a traveling band of drow trying to sneak past us.  Even though Ethan’s knowledge of Spellcraft revealed that the drow male had a fireball readied, he chose to cast Minor Globe of Invulnerability anyway.  As a testament to our group’s average party level, no one died! 

While that part of the party got into a battle which was argueably unneccessary, Scuigbarm continued to heal up Syrus until the sleep effect wore off.  Then, as a swarm of skeletons and zombies swooped down upon us from the direction where the dragon and death tyrant fled, Delome and Scuigbarm sent the rest of the team to join the fight with the drow.  Because Scuigbarm was still under the effects of Slow, he and Delome stayed behind and used the power of their faiths to Destroy the undead.  Then, one of the skeletons had a black cloud escape its skull and coalesce on top as a black crown.  Following that, it was decidedly harder to Destroy the remaining undead.  The black crowned skeleton fled once Delome cast Mace of Odo, and we gave chase along with Skrag–who showed up too late–only to find an immense cavern. 

While we did not see it again, we did find an small lake with a whirlpool near the nearest shore.  This whirlpool was obviously an egress for aquatic creatures.  We then heard the sound of an alarm, so we rejoined the rest of the party.  Unfortunately, the party had now decided that we should flee for the nearby Underdark city of Shadow.  They didn’t seem phased that this minimum three day round trip would insure that the next trip to these corridors would be far more lethal.  After all, they now know our numbers, relative power levels, and will begin preparing for our return immediately. 

Deciding that dying on his own would accomplish nothing, Squigbarm reluctantly agreed to leave with the unheroic cowards.  Then, as we started to go, Zed announced that Moradin had revealed to him that a party of dwarves had less than twenty-four hours to live.  Presumably these dwarves once included the dwarf used as bait by the death tyrant and silver dragon last session (a mere ten minutes or so ago game time).  And so another cliffhanger was left on our shoulders for the next two weeks.

Saturday, we made characters for Trav’s next Earthdawn storyline.  My new character is an Obsidiman Purifier.  Like with our last characters, we had to be second circle with 1500 Legend Points to spend.  Whereas I used my “spare” points to buy a skill for my T’skrang Boatman, I used my “spare” points to buy additional karma for my Obsidiman Purifier. 

Sunday, Mom came by to help me clean the house.  She has wanted to clean it since moving out, so that she could have a clear conscience.  We managed to clean the guest bedroom, living room, and dining room before heading off to mass.  I told her not to worry.  We still need JR to finish repairing the plumbing before we tackle the kitchen and cats’ bathroom anyway. 

The choir was in exception form tonight, and coincidentally afterwards at the Saint Paul’s Cafe the music director actually came and sat at our table.  While eatting our dinner of beef and/or cheese enchiladas, rice, beans, corn chips, corn tortillas, pico de gallo, and chocolate cake, he answered questions about his standard work week.  He also discussed sweat lodges and Sundance with my mother.  I guess he used to be part of a sweat lodge in Mesa a couple of years ago.

And now I’m watching Fox10′s powerful one-two punch of Stargate SG-1 (“The Warrior”) and The X-Files (“The Red and the Black”).  Good stuff.  “Resist or Serve” is kind of the theme of both episodes.  Isn’t it ironic that it should have replaced “The Truth is Out There” tonight?

Ok, I think most people here know that my olfactory senses are weak at best.  So this incident at work should bring a smile to your face:

These two young women come into the store and approach me.  One was obviously the alpha, and it was she who addressed me, “Could you help us?”

“Sure.”

“We were wondering what brand of cologne you like to buy.”

“I don’t.”

“Would you mind explaining why?”

“I don’t have a good sense of smell, so it doesn’t really seem worthwhile to me.”

“Well, what about purchasing for you’re wife?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Are you even dating anyone.”

“Nope, and I’m not looking.”

“Well, thank you and have a good day.”

Up to this point, my co-worker who was standing right next to them but facing toward me and away from them had started grinning slowly throught the conversation.  So, to him I say, “Boy, those ladies sure asked the wrong person of all us here, didn’t they.”  And he just laughs quietly as they walk out the door. 

Now, we get a lot of solicitors that try selling to our employees, and we’re supposed to turn them away.  Yet, these women never did actually try to sell anything.  Which makes it all the funnier.  After all, I didn’t have to turn them away because of policy.  I ended up turning them away because I buck what society tells me is important.  Isn’t it ironic?  Isn’t it more ironic that AM’s song has been running through my head these last few days?

And speaking of society and its expectations, here’s a related quiz:

I Am

Which tarot card are you?

OK, so I forgot a few things in my recap.  Forgive me.  It was an exhausting weekend. 

Monday at the festival grounds I ran into a few people I knew.  Of course, Rusty was working out there as Lord Russell, but I’m referring to people I wasn’t expecting meet out there. 

First, while waiting for the ticket lines to open we ran into Bobby Ray, plus his mother, father, and sister.  I hadn’t seen him since my college days.  Damien, who used to be one of his co-workers in the Fannin Library Computer Lab if I remember correctly, didn’t even recognise him with the long hair and Renaissance costume.  Bobby was one of the people who helped Wayne and I turn CyberWyer into SFACE (Speculative Fiction And Computer Enthusiasts).  I know he was a fellow officer, but it escapes me what possition he was.  Maybe Treasurer? 

We ran into each other several other times throughout the day.  They apparently also split up like our group.  I ran into his mother at The Bringers performance on the Palace Stage.  I ran into him while walking several times, including around an impromtu skit the royalty were performing in the street. 

He seems pretty happy.  He’s a student teacher at a Tempe Elementary school.  He always wanted to be a teacher, so I’m glad to see that he’s realising his dream.  Wayne had me give him one of my business cards, but what I really wish I had were personal cards.  These would be cards I could leave people with my personal contact info.  I keep thinking about it, and I just need to get it done.

Also out at the RenFest I ran into Jo and Joe Levy a couple of times.  Once I ran into them outside the Craftfolk area (or whatever it’s called.  I want my programme back!).  The next time I ran into them after the Closing Cannon just inside the exit gate. 

Jo said that they never got to see a show or do anything else this time, so they’re going to go another weekend this year.  She used to work there the last four years, while he worked there the last fourteen.  This was their first time just as attendees, and every two minutes they were running into people who thought they’d never get to see them again.  So it was a chance for them both to socialise with old friends and renetwork with them.  I guess earlier that weekend the two had gone to the Estrella War for the first time and enjoyed themselves.  They ended up so wore out that they had to go home before all the evening parties, so they plan on missing the morning events next year in order to attend those.

And I forgot to give Damien his UN flag stickers on Monday.  Who knows when next I have the chance to give them to him.  I only bought them October 2001. 

As for today, I have nothing exciting to report.  No Who happened, but I’m not surprised.  Bill is too lazy to contact people in a timely manner about his days off.  He says that he’s call or E-mail me his days off for next week.  We’ll see. 

We got a new Iraq map in stock today at work.  I only got to glance at it, and I’m not sure its much of an improvement on the International Travelers Map Iraq map that we already carry.  ITM used to be the only one to make an Iraq map, but I suspect that as war looms more companies will produce them.  After all, Nelles used to be the only one to male Afganistan maps prior to September 2001.  And now look how many publishers make an Afganistan map.

I got quite a lesson in AK-47 use and maintenance while reading my current selection.  No wonder my mother gave this book back to me.  She was brainwashed with Northern sensibilities before moving out West here at age sixteen.  I’m finding it a thought provoking book, so expect a Review of it when I’m done.  Anyway, I’ll catch y’all later.  Sleep calls me. 

For all you Jack Handey fans out there:  Sci Fi Wire — Fox Saddles Up Mister Ed !

Anyway, I hope I didn’t scare Jinnetics away from blogging today after I acknowledged having his blog on my daily subscription list.  Everyone listed in the Sites I Read module, which I keep Public for everyone, is set to Daily E-mail.  That’s really no big deal considering how irfrequently most of my subscriptions post. 

Anyway, here’s the weekend recap:  Friday night Tom ran his Kids’ Campaign which is set in the past compared to his main campaign, which is set in the current timeline of the Forgotten Realms campaign setting.  We kids had been working hard, preparing for the ambassadors arriving from a neighboring kingdom.  My character, Dennis Myn, was kept busy by clearing all the vermin out of the little used wing the guests would be staying in. 

On the day in which the foreigners were to arrive at the castle, we were given a rare day off (mostly to keep us out of the way).  So we went fishing in the King’s Forest.  There we successful caught many fish (though my character jumped in and backstabbed one instead of using the fishing hooks and line we purchased in town).  Unfortunately, it got late and we found evidence of a bear nearby, so we fled back to the safety of the castle.  Once there, we saw the amabassadors draw their swords and cry, “Death to the Wizards!”  And thus ended the night on a cliffhanger. 

Saturday we missed out on Trav’s Earthdawn campaign because Lori and Tom had a work party at Rawhide that night that she needed to attend.  So the rest of us went and saw Daredevil at Harkins Centrepoint.  Wow!  The trailers made me think it was going to be bad, but it was absolutely awesome!  Everyone had their characters down pat.  The storyline followed the first thirty or so years of continuity, all condensed down to a shorter time span just like Spider-Man.  Also like Spider-Man, they changed a few minor things, but those changes they made helped make it more believable.  The explanation of how his radar sense works was absolutely awesome.  “Seeing” through his radar sense was absolutely well thought out and visually appealing.  I didn’t think they could do it, but they actually adapted Daredevil well.  And they even set it up for a sequel!

Sunday, Mom picked me up and took me to her parents’ place for dinner.  Grandpa made a delicious dinner of bacon wrapped fillet mignon, boiled corn on the cob, tossed green salad, baked potatoes, and store-bought cherry pie. 

I was on a winning streak this weekend, winning every game of Shadowfist Saturday night and winning Rummicube Sunday afternoon.  Steve and Trav are always calling me a puppet, but they were certainly my puppets (as was Monte) that night!  They did everything I wanted of them!  It was like they had forgotten the power of Paulpaganda.  (Hey, I didn’t coin the word.  Don’t blame me.) 

Monday Aaron, Bill, Cheyanne, Damien, Eric, Sam, Wayne, and I went to the Arizona Renaissance Festival and Artistans’ Marketplace to take adavantage of 2.4.1 day.  We didn’t all stay together, instead breaking into various smal groups whose membership changed throughout the day.  I think everyone had much more fun that way, as those with personality conflicts didn’t have to put up with stuff they weren’t interested in.  I tried spending a little time with everyone. 

Personally, I got everything I had hoped to accomplish completed.  I bought new sticks of silver and bronze sealing wax for my Seal of Rassalon signet.  A bought a new belt.  I really wanted the $38 dollar bourgandy coloured belt with shooting star pattern, but I instead bought a more practical woodland creatures belt of brown for only $18.  I needed a belt I could get away with at work, as my old one is falling apart.  While I could get away with the shooting stars, the colour just wasn’t conservative enough.  I totally would have bought both if I’d had the money.

I also got to see Hey, Nunnie Nunnie!, Don Juan and Miguel:  The Weird Show, and Dexter Tripp:  The Water Balloons, Duct Tape, and Explosives Show.  All were quite good.  I also saw several musical acts which I enjoyed by myself (as no one else with our group seemed inclided to listen to any of the various musical groups), but whose names I’ll have to post another time.  I left my program in Eric’s truck, so I have no way to reference them.  The wandering storyteller with the mushroom-shaped stool was there, and he told his first unimpressive story.  Normally he’s a good storyteller, but I got the impression he was drunk this time.  I hope he hasn’t just lost his touch. 

For Ren Fair food, I tried the Ribs and Potatoes near the Fairhaven Stage.  This was a plate with several beef ribs in barbeque sauce and a huge pile of seasoned mashed potatoes all for only five bucks.  They were definately worth the try.  The cinnamon almonds were good as always.  I wanted to try the fresh made-to-order crepes (near the Palace Stage) and the garlic french fries (near Falconers’ Field), but everytime I passed by their boothes I was already full.  I had also wanted to try the Shepherd’s Pie (near the Palace Stage), but they were out or all their pies.  So I had their Bangers and Mash which was absolutely excellent.  The plate was piled full with unseasoned mashed potatoes, had two huge bangers on top, and everything had onion gravy poured all over it.  Aaron was upset I only paid $.50 more than he did for his $4.50 sausage sandwhich yet got so much more food.  That’ll teach him not to go for the mashed potato items whenever they’re available.  Their lemonade was a lot stronger than both Damien and I remembered, so I speculate they engineered it so that when ice melts into it the water doesn’t overpower the lemon. 

After the festival I had our monthly LepreCon XXIX Program Team meeting, this time at Larry’s clubhouse in Mesa.  We got a lot accomplished even though we started late, had only six people in attendance due to finals for some and Gallifrey One stealing away several others.  Larry showed off a television spot he’s working on for the seven speculative fiction conventions Phoenix will have next year.  Also, I (foolishly?) agreed to be Assistant Program Chair for LepreCon XXX.  That makes me Family Programming Category Coordinator for LepreCon XXIX, Assistant Program Chair for LepreCon XXX, and Green Room Chair for XXXI. 

LepreCon XXXI is going to have some rockin’ Star Wars Guests of Honour, but I’m still sworn to secrecy on who they are.  It will be held the weekend before Episode II comes out, so hopefully we’ll take advantage of that and do something with the lineup folks.  I think I’ll try to SW-theme the Green Room in someway, but without copying Kitty’s successful SW-themed Green Room at CopperCon Episode XXII.  Of course, we have totally opposite management styles when it comes to Green Room, so I’m sure that in itself will help to differentiate the two. 

Anyway, as you can guess it was such an exhausting weekend that I never had time to post a weblog entry.  But now I’m up too late posting this entry so I must bid y’all a good night! 

Sci Fi Wire — Man-Thing to Shoot is one of the most offensive movie adaptation announcements I have ever read.  Typical of non-Man-Thing fans, people choose to confuse Man-Thing and Swamp-Thing due to their physical similarities.  He’s not even a Mutant!  Goodness sakes!  He does not avenge environmental wrongs!  He doesn’t avenge at all!  He’s a mute empath with at best a child-like mentality.  *large exasperated sigh* 

OK, Monday went fine.  I worked on my yard, then found a notice in my mail about my yard being in disrepair from my park warning me I had ten days to fix it or be fined.   I guess I waited too long.  At least it’s done now.  I also went out and paid my various bills, leaving me with little money for the Renaissance Festival this Monday.  I still want to buy a new belt and buy replacement sealing wax for my signet, but that and food might be it for me. 

I also went over to Wayne’s to see Lilo and Stitch on his new DVD computer-to-television display and THX surround sound.  However, he was having system resources problems, monitor-to-television display problems, and only could get quadriphonic sound.  We had to stop halfway so I could go home and get some sleep, so I guess we’ll be finishing it up tomorrow. 

I get the idea that Wayne is loney, now that he lives alone in a house.  I think he used to get more human interaction when he lived in an apartment.  Personally, I keep myself so busy that I long for chances to just go home.  I’m a fairly sociable person, but I think everyone needs some time just to themselves to rejuvinate.

Bassaf recently asked about Squigbarm Khopbul of Eldath, so I posted a recap of my various active campaigns and associated characters here.  I can imagine that it’d be difficult to keep track of my various campaigns without actually being there, so feel free to ask questions as need be, folks. 

I also updated Crusader Citadel.  All Heroes have had their final Response Bonuses listed, except those that never spent their RBs.  Next on my list is to type up Icarus’s backstory, adapt the remaining chapters of Doctor Galapagos Unleashed, and type up the other stories submitted to me.  I think I’ll do the site redesign before posting any more Character stats, unless someone actually requests otherwise.  I doubt anyone other than my players ever really found the site, though.  And I especially doubt that there’s many people still playing MSHAG these days anyway. 

Well, before I go here’s the latest silly quiz results:

Your magical style is Sleeper.
What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox

find your element at mutedfaith.com. <º>