Friday 24 January 2003

  • Static Shock does Gotham City (finally!)


    So I'm catching up on E-mails and weblogs when one of them reminds me of one of my dreams last night.  In it, I run into Jennifer Bentz who is hanging out with Javier Castro while the "ever-present war"* wages around us.  She's a little older (age enhanced like on the milk cartons) and dressed in a businesswoman's suit for whatever reason, and its obvious to me that she's unhappy to see me.  Apparently, she's upset with me for not having pursued her, and Javier refuses to get involved.  Her marriage has ended, and she wishes she'd married me.  Talk about weird.


    For those that don't know, I had a crush on Jen the whole length of hs until the time of the senior prom.  When suddenly I realised that the friendship I had carefully cultivated with the woman for whom I'd held a torch for so long meant more to me than any potential romance.  I ended up asking Molly to the prom as a safe friend who wouldn't take it otherwise, never even asking Jen.


    So why dream of her so many years later?  Does she represent not having followed the flock and settling down like normal folk do?  Does she represent a deep desire to date again?  Did a part of me always remain interested in her? 


    So I started to think of what could have sparked it, and I remembered a little something from yesterday.  Thsi beautiful young woman I recognized from the Burton Barr Library came into our store.  She was there to purchase maps for the Map Library.  ANd I remember being impressed enough with her conversational abilities that I looked to see if she had a ring.  That's something I've only done twice in my lifetime.  Neither woman had a ring, and I pursued neither woman any further.  Mostly due to the fact that I wouldn't even know where to begin. Well, Theresa did have a ring on, but it was on her middle finger so I'm not counting that.


    So maybe this dream was about how I always let potential mates get away from me without really trying.  I guess there's a part of me that wants a romantic relationship.  The question now is, do I ignore it or nuture it?  Do I educate it or crush it?  I guess its time for more prayerful reflection.  But before that its time for bed.  Night!

Comments (2)

  • It's really too bad that there isn't a book called "Why you can disagree - And still remain a faithful Mormon."  It might have helped me to stay active in church... or even care about it at this point.

    I had to give you props for you just being you this time.  :)   You're a really incredible person, Paul.  I really wish I could go through what you and I are both going through (the whole question your religion thing), and find answers that are just as reassuring as you have.  But it seems like I've heard everything my religion has to say, since I keep getting the same answers over and over to different and more difficult questions.  Heh, we were even asked to help fellowship a family near us that's investigating and being taught by the missionaries.  All I could say was "I don't think I'd be the best influence for them right now."  **shrug**

    Anyway, I've rambled.  Hope you have a great weekend.  :)

  • I think most organized religions have a large group of members who don't truely know their faith.  They never question it or grow in it, but accept what they learn at face value.  I've found over the years that many questions about my faith are hard to get answers for.  But I keep digging and asking questions anyway.

    For a decade I've wondered how the archangels are saints.  After all, those who go to heaven are supposed to join the Communion of Saints.  Plus we have cannonised saints who get the title Saint added to their name following a process to prove that miracles occurred around them due to their faith.  No one could answer that question, nor did they know where to go to find out.  It wasn't until last year that I found out due to this entry on frdangerous's weblog.

    So the moral of the story is to keep asking.  Keep digging.  Someone somewhere must know the answer.  Now whether the answer is one you wanted to hear, that's another story.  Good luck and God bless you on your journey!

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